At 4:40am on November 2, 2009, the earth stood still. I could barely catch my breath when I heard my father say, "Your grandmother has died." As I exhaled, the earth began to move again. The impact that my grandmother had on my life caused me great pause, thus stopping the earth. Her legacy was profound. At at young teen age, she led me to Christ. She poured into me daily. Although, through college, she probably thought NOTHING stuck! But, it did. God's Word resonates in my brain....Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way that he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it." I was that child that was trained. I will never forget giving birth to my firstborn and having a conversation with her. I called her and said, "Grandma, she is so beautiful. I love her more than anything in my life." She said to me, "Shelly, never say that. You can never love anything more than God. God gave Alexia to you and should thank Him and love Him more than her." It was a 30 second conversation exchange, but it changed my life. From that point on, my foundation was different. My foundation was solid. I learned so much about her from that one statement. Matthew 15:19 says, "But those things which proceed out of the mouth come from heart and they defile a man." In this passage, Jesus is explaining a parable. He is teaching us that ungodly words, ungodly thoughts and ungodly actions, flowing from heart, can defile a person. Therefore, our children can know our heart by our words. How powerful!!!! When my grandmother made that statement, I understood more about her walk with Jesus. I heard her heart that day. What do your children hear?
Webster's dictionary defines legacy as something passed down to another generation. We pass our words and phrases down to our children. How many times have you said something to your children and then laughed and said, "I sound just like my mother." In psychology, we call this learned behavior. Our home is our training ground. What language do you speak to your children? Now, I am not talking about English, Spanish or Japanese. My question boils down to your heart lingo. If God's Word says that our words are a reflection of our heart, what is your heart saying to your children? Do you walk around angry? Do you use foul language? Do you gossip? Do you complain all the time? Now.....here is where the rubber meets the road.....when your children turn to you for advice, what advice does your heart give? Are you quick to tell them what Oprah, Dr. Phil or Dr. Oz says or does your heart lead them to what God's Word says? Your children are listening and watching EVERYTHING. Last week at dinner, my 7 year old daughter amazed me. My husband was helping get all of the plates on the table for dinner. Everyone started asking for something. One wanted a spoon, one wanted a fork, a cup, a drink, etc. He said, "Stop everyone. You only have one Daddy and I can't get everything." Alyssa said, "I have 2 Dads. I have you and I have a heavenly Father." I was ecstatic that her understanding had evolved to understand that there is a difference between an earthly father and a heavenly father.
What is your heart saying right now? My grandmother's heart spoke to me LOUD and CLEAR and now I can confidently say that her legacy is being passed on. When I need direction, I first seek God. God brings to my remembrance things that my grandmother poured into me and all of those memories confirm God's Word. Her life and legacy mirrored God's Word. How do we have that kind of legacy? Where do we begin? We do a heart check. We check our hearts with what we are saying to our children, to our spouses, to our friends, to our co-workers. We have to assess where we are before we can begin the process of change. Then, I suggest that you read James 3: 1-12 (The untamable tongue). Read it, reread it and Pray that God allows His Word to penetrate your heart and bring about a change. I know that I desire a long legacy for my children when I am with God in heaven. Beacause of my grandmother's 97 year legacy to me, the earth stopped and I paused. Will the earth stop for me and will my children pause, when I die? Will the earth stop for you?
Signed Michele.....Saved, Secure and Blessed!!!!!!!
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Friday, October 16, 2009
Do our children reflect our teaching?
Two days ago, I was in the Kohl's parking lot placing my items in my van. I looked over at the van next to me and it was a Muslim Mother and her two female children. All 3 were dressed in their customary Islamic garments. One of the children caught my eye. She appeared to be around the same age of my oldest daughter(12). She was helping her mother buckle her younger sibling in the van and then walked around to the passenger seat. As she walked around to the passenger seat, she and I exchanged a smile.
As they drove away, I began to think. How is it that the Muslim mother can get her daughter to buy into their beliefs and visibly and publicly proclaim their faith? I then laughed aloud and realized that I should be asking myself the same question.....How can I as a Christian mother get my daughter to buy into our beliefs and visibly and publicly proclaim her faith? Hmmmmmmm.
I do not know the heart of the young Muslim girl and can only assume the following. Her Islamic dress was very neat and had a sense of youthful flair, as if she picked it out herself. According to the Qur'an, A woman/young girl are to keep their "true" beauty hidden from the world and wear the customary wardrobe to maintain modesty. So, if this is what they believe, how does that translate for this young girl or many other Muslim girls. They look and act different than some of their classmates. They do not see their image of dress on TV. They do not share the same beliefs as many in the world. But still they unashamedly, proclaim their faith in public with their dress.
Our Christian children should be able to say that they look and act different than some of their classmates. Our Christian children should be able to say that they do not see their image of Christian dress on tv. Our Christian children should be able to say that they do not share the same beliefs as many in the world. Our Christian should be able to unashamedly proclaim their faith in public with how they walk. Where is the breakdown? Is it me? Are you seeing them truly representing Christ 24/7?
On Sunday, our oldest daughter attended a youth service at our church. She came home very excited about the message. She said that Minister Bishop gave an excellent message about holiness. I asked her to tell me more. She said, "Mom, Mr. Nate told us to be holy that we have to be set apart from the world in EVERYTHING. We have to set apart in our language, in our dress and even our thoughts." She went on to say that she knows that it is ok to proclaim publicly that she is set apart and to tell the world. So, my hubby and I challenged her this week to be set apart and live holy at school. Yesterday, a young boy called her stupid for making a certain comment in class. She raised her hand and told her teacher. The teacher wrote the boy up for inappropriate language. Later that day, he passed her in the hallway and said, "You are still stupid." She stopped him and said, " I am not stupid. God has created me to be a wonderful person. I am proud of who God created and you are the stupid one for saying anything different." We were very proud of her and told her next time to stop right before calling the boy stupid. lol. I asked her how she felt about standing up for herself as a Christian and she said it was GREAT!!!
The issue of holiness and proclaiming our faith publicly go hand in hand. My earlier question to you was, "How can a Christian mother get her daughter to buy into our Christian beliefs and visibly and publicly proclaim their faith?" The primary way is to LEAD BY EXAMPLE. Scripture says in Titus 2:3, "Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored."
I want my children to impact this world as faithful followers of Christ. But, it needs to start with me!!! Our Pastor always says,"what you do in moderation, your children will do in excess." We, as mothers and fathers need to closely examine our lives. If your children modeled ALLLLLL of your current behaviors.....would you be proud? Is there something that needs to change. If so, I pray that God allows you wisdom to identify those things and swiftly remove them.
Our children should be able to live a Godly life privately and publicly because of the tools that we have given them. Are you teaching them about Godly responses to questions in the world? Do they know how to be apologetic(defend) in their faith? They are never to young to learn. One of our twins, Alyssa spoke up for her beliefs this week. During recess, her friends were playing ghost club. They asked her to join and she said, " No, I am Christian and I can not join your group." Now, Alyssa does not have full knowledge as to why she said no, but she knew enough to know that it was not a group that she wanted to be a part of. Even at 7, you can pour into them. You should begin pouring into them as soon as the doctor says, "It's a ____. " It is never to early, but it could be too late sometimes.
As you go through this week, remember my example of the Muslim mother and how she has taught her daughter to proclaim her beliefs publicly. Islam is completely false, WRONG, and Inaccurate teaching, but yet the mother is still pouring falsehood into her family. If you have and know the TRUTH, how much more should YOU POUR?
Stay encouraged and remain united!!!! Until the next time........
As they drove away, I began to think. How is it that the Muslim mother can get her daughter to buy into their beliefs and visibly and publicly proclaim their faith? I then laughed aloud and realized that I should be asking myself the same question.....How can I as a Christian mother get my daughter to buy into our beliefs and visibly and publicly proclaim her faith? Hmmmmmmm.
I do not know the heart of the young Muslim girl and can only assume the following. Her Islamic dress was very neat and had a sense of youthful flair, as if she picked it out herself. According to the Qur'an, A woman/young girl are to keep their "true" beauty hidden from the world and wear the customary wardrobe to maintain modesty. So, if this is what they believe, how does that translate for this young girl or many other Muslim girls. They look and act different than some of their classmates. They do not see their image of dress on TV. They do not share the same beliefs as many in the world. But still they unashamedly, proclaim their faith in public with their dress.
Our Christian children should be able to say that they look and act different than some of their classmates. Our Christian children should be able to say that they do not see their image of Christian dress on tv. Our Christian children should be able to say that they do not share the same beliefs as many in the world. Our Christian should be able to unashamedly proclaim their faith in public with how they walk. Where is the breakdown? Is it me? Are you seeing them truly representing Christ 24/7?
On Sunday, our oldest daughter attended a youth service at our church. She came home very excited about the message. She said that Minister Bishop gave an excellent message about holiness. I asked her to tell me more. She said, "Mom, Mr. Nate told us to be holy that we have to be set apart from the world in EVERYTHING. We have to set apart in our language, in our dress and even our thoughts." She went on to say that she knows that it is ok to proclaim publicly that she is set apart and to tell the world. So, my hubby and I challenged her this week to be set apart and live holy at school. Yesterday, a young boy called her stupid for making a certain comment in class. She raised her hand and told her teacher. The teacher wrote the boy up for inappropriate language. Later that day, he passed her in the hallway and said, "You are still stupid." She stopped him and said, " I am not stupid. God has created me to be a wonderful person. I am proud of who God created and you are the stupid one for saying anything different." We were very proud of her and told her next time to stop right before calling the boy stupid. lol. I asked her how she felt about standing up for herself as a Christian and she said it was GREAT!!!
The issue of holiness and proclaiming our faith publicly go hand in hand. My earlier question to you was, "How can a Christian mother get her daughter to buy into our Christian beliefs and visibly and publicly proclaim their faith?" The primary way is to LEAD BY EXAMPLE. Scripture says in Titus 2:3, "Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored."
I want my children to impact this world as faithful followers of Christ. But, it needs to start with me!!! Our Pastor always says,"what you do in moderation, your children will do in excess." We, as mothers and fathers need to closely examine our lives. If your children modeled ALLLLLL of your current behaviors.....would you be proud? Is there something that needs to change. If so, I pray that God allows you wisdom to identify those things and swiftly remove them.
Our children should be able to live a Godly life privately and publicly because of the tools that we have given them. Are you teaching them about Godly responses to questions in the world? Do they know how to be apologetic(defend) in their faith? They are never to young to learn. One of our twins, Alyssa spoke up for her beliefs this week. During recess, her friends were playing ghost club. They asked her to join and she said, " No, I am Christian and I can not join your group." Now, Alyssa does not have full knowledge as to why she said no, but she knew enough to know that it was not a group that she wanted to be a part of. Even at 7, you can pour into them. You should begin pouring into them as soon as the doctor says, "It's a ____. " It is never to early, but it could be too late sometimes.
As you go through this week, remember my example of the Muslim mother and how she has taught her daughter to proclaim her beliefs publicly. Islam is completely false, WRONG, and Inaccurate teaching, but yet the mother is still pouring falsehood into her family. If you have and know the TRUTH, how much more should YOU POUR?
Stay encouraged and remain united!!!! Until the next time........
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Do you invest or diversify?
Do you invest or do you diversify? I am not talking about money. I am talking about the time that you pour into your children. Before I begin, I must tell you about the faithfulness of God. The blog that you are reading today was given to me by God to write about 3 weeks ago. I procrastinated. God has been giving me gentle reminders each week and I have responded with procrastination. He loves me despite my stubbornness and gave me another nudge this morning. During worship service, Minister McNeil challenged the congregation. He gave a breakdown on the number of hours that we spend in random activities, as it compares to the time we choose with the Lord. His breakdown of hours is something that God gave me, as it relates to pouring into children 3 weeks ago. I understood that this was not a coincidence (side note...coincidences do not exist for Christians), it was God's gentle nudging. So, here we go.....lol.....
We value and guard our time. But, when it comes to the time that we pour into our children, what is our attitude? Look at this breakdown:
There are 24 hours in a day. Therefore there are 168 hours in a week.
Here is a BASIC schedule for our children:
* They sleep 8 to 10 hours a day which equals 70 hours a week
* They are in school for 7 hours a day which equals 35 hours a week
* They groom themselves 30 minutes in the morning and 30 minutes at night which equals 7 hours a week
* They are transported to various activities on average 30 minutes a day which equals 1.5 hours a week
* They have 3 meals a day on average for 30 minutes which equals 8 hours a week(take out school lunches)
* They attend Sunday School and church service one day per week for 4 hours per week(9:30 until 1:30)
This equals 125.50 hours per week. Remember there are only 168 hours in a week. So, if you subtract their schedule from the number of hours in a week, you are left with 42.50 hours in a week or 6.0 hours a day.
My question is this, "How do you invest the rest of their time?" Are you diversifying? This means....Are you giving away their time to 100 activities leaving you with 5 minutes here and there? We need to make an investment in our children.
Our oldest daughter is very active. She is on the varsity volleyball team which is 8 hours a week. She takes piano lessons which is 1 hour per week. She is also involved in a ministry at our church which is 2 hours a week. There is also a secondary church group that is approximately 10 hours a month. If I deduct this time from our 42.50 weekly hours.......our grand total is 31 hours a week or 4.4 hours per day. This number goes down even more if you have more than one child.
OK, are you getting the picture? GUARD THEIR TIME!!!!! We have chosen to not allow our daughter to participate in every activity in the church or school. Do not misunderstand me....I think church ministry is awesome and is invaluable. I also believe that extracurricular activities are vital to future growth academically and emotionally. However, YOU ARE the number one spiritual mentor for your child....NOT THE MINISTRY LEADER!!! NOT THE PASTOR!!!! NOT THE SAVED SCHOOL TEACHER AND NOT THEIR FRIENDS!!!! Therefore, you need to pour into them constantly. It is OK to tell your church or school that pouring into your children is a priority over church or after school activities. We need to find a right balance. We only have 6 more years with our oldest daughter before she leaves for college. We want to pour into her and equip her with every tool possible. We can not do that if she is never at home.
When you are at home, let me pose a few questions?
1. Are you caught up watching your tv shows for a few hours a week?
2. Are you on the phone with family and friends talking a few hours a week?
3. Are you surfing the internet for a few hours a week?
There needs to be balance and needs to look like this......You should have your one on one time with the Lord DAILY!!! How can you pour anything out, if you have not been filled up? Then, if married, you should have your one on one time with your spouse DAILY!!!!!! If the number one earthly relationship is not functioning properly, how can you model anything for your kids? I am passionate about this because I see our families being robbed of a Godly life because of our tendency to over commit. My father always said, "Michele, everything that glitters ain't gold." This is sooo true. Just because an activity at church is good, great, and fun; does not mean that our children need to always be there. In previous posts, I have quoted Deuteronomy 6:6-9 ,"And these words which I command to you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates." God has given you the responsibility to pour into your children. It is exciting that we have been trusted with such an awesome gift to raise the next generation of kingdom builders. You may be asking yourself, how do I pour into them? Where do I begin? Here are a few suggestions:
* TALK TALK TALK, Ask them what is on their mind...they just might tell you.
* Take walks or drives with them and point out God's hand in creation
* Be transparent. Tell them how you are handling certain situations as a Christian. They are watching.
* Sit and watch TV with them and talk about being separate from the world and how to do that.
* Invite school or church friends into your home and teach your child how to be a friend and hospitable.
This list goes on and on. Be your child's mentor and you will not regret it. I want to share in your journey. I am walking this just like you. Let me know how I can pray for you either via this blog or via email at michele_white@yahoo.com
As I close, I want to explain by goodbye ending. I always say at the end of the blog....Stay united and be encouraged. I want you to be united in Christ as a 3 fold cord that is not easily broken(God, Husband and Wife). I want you to be encouraged that we are all raising children together and will make a ton of mistakes. We must and will learn from each mistake that we make. Be encouraged that you are not alone.
So, I bid you goodbye.......Stay United and Be Encouraged.
We value and guard our time. But, when it comes to the time that we pour into our children, what is our attitude? Look at this breakdown:
There are 24 hours in a day. Therefore there are 168 hours in a week.
Here is a BASIC schedule for our children:
* They sleep 8 to 10 hours a day which equals 70 hours a week
* They are in school for 7 hours a day which equals 35 hours a week
* They groom themselves 30 minutes in the morning and 30 minutes at night which equals 7 hours a week
* They are transported to various activities on average 30 minutes a day which equals 1.5 hours a week
* They have 3 meals a day on average for 30 minutes which equals 8 hours a week(take out school lunches)
* They attend Sunday School and church service one day per week for 4 hours per week(9:30 until 1:30)
This equals 125.50 hours per week. Remember there are only 168 hours in a week. So, if you subtract their schedule from the number of hours in a week, you are left with 42.50 hours in a week or 6.0 hours a day.
My question is this, "How do you invest the rest of their time?" Are you diversifying? This means....Are you giving away their time to 100 activities leaving you with 5 minutes here and there? We need to make an investment in our children.
Our oldest daughter is very active. She is on the varsity volleyball team which is 8 hours a week. She takes piano lessons which is 1 hour per week. She is also involved in a ministry at our church which is 2 hours a week. There is also a secondary church group that is approximately 10 hours a month. If I deduct this time from our 42.50 weekly hours.......our grand total is 31 hours a week or 4.4 hours per day. This number goes down even more if you have more than one child.
OK, are you getting the picture? GUARD THEIR TIME!!!!! We have chosen to not allow our daughter to participate in every activity in the church or school. Do not misunderstand me....I think church ministry is awesome and is invaluable. I also believe that extracurricular activities are vital to future growth academically and emotionally. However, YOU ARE the number one spiritual mentor for your child....NOT THE MINISTRY LEADER!!! NOT THE PASTOR!!!! NOT THE SAVED SCHOOL TEACHER AND NOT THEIR FRIENDS!!!! Therefore, you need to pour into them constantly. It is OK to tell your church or school that pouring into your children is a priority over church or after school activities. We need to find a right balance. We only have 6 more years with our oldest daughter before she leaves for college. We want to pour into her and equip her with every tool possible. We can not do that if she is never at home.
When you are at home, let me pose a few questions?
1. Are you caught up watching your tv shows for a few hours a week?
2. Are you on the phone with family and friends talking a few hours a week?
3. Are you surfing the internet for a few hours a week?
There needs to be balance and needs to look like this......You should have your one on one time with the Lord DAILY!!! How can you pour anything out, if you have not been filled up? Then, if married, you should have your one on one time with your spouse DAILY!!!!!! If the number one earthly relationship is not functioning properly, how can you model anything for your kids? I am passionate about this because I see our families being robbed of a Godly life because of our tendency to over commit. My father always said, "Michele, everything that glitters ain't gold." This is sooo true. Just because an activity at church is good, great, and fun; does not mean that our children need to always be there. In previous posts, I have quoted Deuteronomy 6:6-9 ,"And these words which I command to you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates." God has given you the responsibility to pour into your children. It is exciting that we have been trusted with such an awesome gift to raise the next generation of kingdom builders. You may be asking yourself, how do I pour into them? Where do I begin? Here are a few suggestions:
* TALK TALK TALK, Ask them what is on their mind...they just might tell you.
* Take walks or drives with them and point out God's hand in creation
* Be transparent. Tell them how you are handling certain situations as a Christian. They are watching.
* Sit and watch TV with them and talk about being separate from the world and how to do that.
* Invite school or church friends into your home and teach your child how to be a friend and hospitable.
This list goes on and on. Be your child's mentor and you will not regret it. I want to share in your journey. I am walking this just like you. Let me know how I can pray for you either via this blog or via email at michele_white@yahoo.com
As I close, I want to explain by goodbye ending. I always say at the end of the blog....Stay united and be encouraged. I want you to be united in Christ as a 3 fold cord that is not easily broken(God, Husband and Wife). I want you to be encouraged that we are all raising children together and will make a ton of mistakes. We must and will learn from each mistake that we make. Be encouraged that you are not alone.
So, I bid you goodbye.......Stay United and Be Encouraged.
Monday, September 7, 2009
Family Time
We love family time! Last Friday, we had a great day with our children. It was GAME DAY!!!! We prepped them in the week that Friday was family day and that meant NO TV or any other outside distractions. It was time for our family to talk and play with each other. When the kids woke up on Friday, you would have thought that is was Christmas morning. They were super excited for family day. Our day started with a big breakfast. I tried something different. My friend Carmen gave me the recipe for homemade donuts. So, I made 2 dozen homemade donuts. They were yummy. Half were glazed and the other half were cinnamon sugar. I think Krispy Kreme would be envious. lol. Daddy made cheese eggs, fruit, and waffles. YUMMY!!! After breakfast, we pulled out all of our favorite games. While cleaning the kitchen, Daddy turned on the tv to catch ESPN. The kids immediately jumped him and yelled, "NO TV Daddy. It is game day!!!" Daddy laughed and turned off the tv.
Game day was on. We played Uno spin, Chess, Checkers, Wii games, Sequence and PC games. It was a blast!!!! I think I lost everything that I played. lol. We played for hours and talked about silly things, serious things and family future outings. This will be a memory that our children will hold forever.
It is very interesting that at Christmas time, parents overspend to please and tease children with monetary emptiness(or gifts). Now do not get me wrong, we buy our children gifts. However, gifts do not substitute JESUS's birth or the time that we can spend together. Last year, we bought a big family gift to promote more family closeness. I want to prove a point to you. Think back to your childhood and answer this question. What do you remember most? Is it time spent with family or things bought by family? For me and my hubby it is truly time spent with our family. We have countless stories of family events, trips and adventures. When we reference our childhood, we rarely talk about items bought.
I want my children to have vibrant melodic memories that echo off the walls. But, we have to help create them by spending time with them. How much time do you spend with your children playing, talking, and teaching? Each day you are creating memories with them. The question is what kind of memories are you creating. Proverbs 22:6 says, "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. What are you doing to train them. As a psychologist, I go into many homes and see many dsyfuntional families. The one answer that I use in almost every session is spend time with your children. Many maladaptive behaviors cease to exist when parents spend time with their children. There is a direct corrleation with attention seeking behavior and maladaptive behaviors. Children that crave parental attention will seek positive or negative attention at any cost.
We spent absolutely no money for our game day. It was time set apart from the world to shower our children with attention and love. At the end of the day, our twins said that it was the best day of their life. WOW!!!! Comments like that are priceless. Praise God for giving Daddy and I the opportunity to be parents to Alexia, Alonzo, Alyssa, Avery and Autumn. He is a Good GOD!!!!!!
Game day was on. We played Uno spin, Chess, Checkers, Wii games, Sequence and PC games. It was a blast!!!! I think I lost everything that I played. lol. We played for hours and talked about silly things, serious things and family future outings. This will be a memory that our children will hold forever.
It is very interesting that at Christmas time, parents overspend to please and tease children with monetary emptiness(or gifts). Now do not get me wrong, we buy our children gifts. However, gifts do not substitute JESUS's birth or the time that we can spend together. Last year, we bought a big family gift to promote more family closeness. I want to prove a point to you. Think back to your childhood and answer this question. What do you remember most? Is it time spent with family or things bought by family? For me and my hubby it is truly time spent with our family. We have countless stories of family events, trips and adventures. When we reference our childhood, we rarely talk about items bought.
I want my children to have vibrant melodic memories that echo off the walls. But, we have to help create them by spending time with them. How much time do you spend with your children playing, talking, and teaching? Each day you are creating memories with them. The question is what kind of memories are you creating. Proverbs 22:6 says, "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. What are you doing to train them. As a psychologist, I go into many homes and see many dsyfuntional families. The one answer that I use in almost every session is spend time with your children. Many maladaptive behaviors cease to exist when parents spend time with their children. There is a direct corrleation with attention seeking behavior and maladaptive behaviors. Children that crave parental attention will seek positive or negative attention at any cost.
We spent absolutely no money for our game day. It was time set apart from the world to shower our children with attention and love. At the end of the day, our twins said that it was the best day of their life. WOW!!!! Comments like that are priceless. Praise God for giving Daddy and I the opportunity to be parents to Alexia, Alonzo, Alyssa, Avery and Autumn. He is a Good GOD!!!!!!
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Boys Versus Girls
Approximately 9 years ago, I remember sitting in Sunday school and my eyes being opened. My Pastor, Pastor Belton was teaching the class on that day and talked about the nurturing process for children. He indicated that although he has 3 children, he takes time to take each child out individually for one on one time. At the time, we only had one child and I thought that this was a task that I could accomplish. It is only when I fast forward 9 years that I see the true implication of this statement.
The Bible says in Deuteronomy 6:6-9 ,"And these words which I command to you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates." This commands us to teach our children in the home and outside of the home, from the morning until night. Our children our watching every step, every breath that we take. My 2 sons love to come home and put on their sweat pants and have a bare chest. Why? It is what Daddy does. My oldest son loves to play chess. Why? It is what Daddy does. My oldest son carries his Bible around with him throughout the house. Why? It is what Daddy does. My girls love to make the house comfortable. Why? It is what Mommy does. My girls love to organize things. Why? I am not sure on that one. lol. It is because Mommy does. The point is that our same sex children are taking their cues from us as to how to become a Lady or a Man. What do they see in you or Who do they see in you? Are your children selfish or selfless? Are your children loving or loveless? We had to examine ourselves and ask these questions.
Last Saturday, we had our typical Girl Day and Boy Day at the White House. We started this about 6 months ago and our kids love it. Once a month on a Saturday, the boys take several hours by themselves and the girls take several hours by ourselves. On this particular Saturday, Paul and the boys went to a baseball game, visited Nana and Papa and then went to a game store. The girls and I stayed in and had a tea party. We played Uno spin and the Wii. It was an awesome time to allow them to experience their parent as a Man or a Woman. We were able to talk about subjects that each may find uncomfortable talking about in front of the opposite sex.
God has given you the charge and responsibility to raise your children. Spending time with them is the best gift that you can give them. You learn so much about them and you also learn how to be a better parent from them. Your mission this week(if you so choose to accept) is to make time for your children. It can be a girls day, boys day or individual time. I leave you with this thought. When your child is your age and he or she looks back at their life, they remember the TIME SPENT with you, more than any trip, gift or token that you could give. As always, Remain united and encouraged.
Love ya'll
Blessed Mommy of 5
The Bible says in Deuteronomy 6:6-9 ,"And these words which I command to you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates." This commands us to teach our children in the home and outside of the home, from the morning until night. Our children our watching every step, every breath that we take. My 2 sons love to come home and put on their sweat pants and have a bare chest. Why? It is what Daddy does. My oldest son loves to play chess. Why? It is what Daddy does. My oldest son carries his Bible around with him throughout the house. Why? It is what Daddy does. My girls love to make the house comfortable. Why? It is what Mommy does. My girls love to organize things. Why? I am not sure on that one. lol. It is because Mommy does. The point is that our same sex children are taking their cues from us as to how to become a Lady or a Man. What do they see in you or Who do they see in you? Are your children selfish or selfless? Are your children loving or loveless? We had to examine ourselves and ask these questions.
Last Saturday, we had our typical Girl Day and Boy Day at the White House. We started this about 6 months ago and our kids love it. Once a month on a Saturday, the boys take several hours by themselves and the girls take several hours by ourselves. On this particular Saturday, Paul and the boys went to a baseball game, visited Nana and Papa and then went to a game store. The girls and I stayed in and had a tea party. We played Uno spin and the Wii. It was an awesome time to allow them to experience their parent as a Man or a Woman. We were able to talk about subjects that each may find uncomfortable talking about in front of the opposite sex.
God has given you the charge and responsibility to raise your children. Spending time with them is the best gift that you can give them. You learn so much about them and you also learn how to be a better parent from them. Your mission this week(if you so choose to accept) is to make time for your children. It can be a girls day, boys day or individual time. I leave you with this thought. When your child is your age and he or she looks back at their life, they remember the TIME SPENT with you, more than any trip, gift or token that you could give. As always, Remain united and encouraged.
Love ya'll
Blessed Mommy of 5
Saturday, August 22, 2009
HONESTY!!!!!!
Well, it has been a while since I blogged. I am loving raising my 5 and being the wife that God called me to be. I want this blog to be real, to be encouraging, and to be a forum to give information about raising kids. Therefore, if you have ideas about raising kids or thoughts, I would love to hear it. I have a another reason for writing this blog. I feel that God has led me to write a book about parenting. Therefore, as I research and write the book, I will share stories from our life that will end up in the book. Some of your blog comments may end up in the book as well(with your permission).
In the blogs, I will give encourgement as a Mom, Biblical knowledge as a Christian, and clinical advice as a Psychologist. Hey, you guys get the free advice that I charge my clients for. lol
Today's topic will be about honesty. As I was getting ready to leave the house yesterday, I noticed that something was missing from my purse. It was my mascara. I only wear three things on my face. I use eyeliner, mascara and lipstick. So, if one of those 3 are missing, I notice it quickly. I suspected that my 6 year old daughter that loves dress up took it. Oh, I forgot to mention that this is the 2nd mascara that has disappeared in 2 weeks. So, I asked her about it and she denied it. Therefore, I went to her room and searched. WOW WOW WOW!!!! Guess what I found in there. I started in her closet. I went to the back of the closet and found half eaten brownies, half eaten suzy Q's, candy wrappers, and other food items. I was amazed. I then searched the drawers and found more food and wrappers. We have a very strict rule in our house. Food is only consumed in the kitchen. NO FOOD OR DRINK is allowed in other part of the house. PERIOD!!!! So, she knew she was BUSTED and in BIG TROUBLE. After the enitre family helped her clean her crumbs, food wrappers and food for an hour, I asked everyone to leave her room. I talked to her about being sneaky and dishonest. I then SPANKED her. Yes. I did. God's Word is very clear about not sparing the rod. And I do not spare the rod. Proverbs 23:13-14 says, "Do not withhold correction from a child, for if you beat him with a rod, he will not die. You shall beat him with a rod and deliver his soul from hell." After her spanking, she and I spent more time talking about how big God is. Even if you think that you are getting away with something, God sees you. Now, in our house, Mommy is never the end person with the discipline. Daddy then came in and talked with her. It is always good for both parents to be involved in discipline. This eliminates the inate desire to usurp and divide parents. This internal desire is as ancient as Adam and Eve and Cain and Abel. No matter what.....stay united in discipline. Here is a toughy....Even if you disagree with your spouse on the disciplinary action, never let the child know this. After the discipline is enacted, you can discuss your opposition in private. It is also very important that you make your child understand that they must answer to God. If they understand that God is watching their every move, they may begin to alter their behavior, if you have taught a proper reverence and fear of the Lord. Remain UNITED and ENCOURAGED!!!!!
Love,
Blessed Mom of Five
In the blogs, I will give encourgement as a Mom, Biblical knowledge as a Christian, and clinical advice as a Psychologist. Hey, you guys get the free advice that I charge my clients for. lol
Today's topic will be about honesty. As I was getting ready to leave the house yesterday, I noticed that something was missing from my purse. It was my mascara. I only wear three things on my face. I use eyeliner, mascara and lipstick. So, if one of those 3 are missing, I notice it quickly. I suspected that my 6 year old daughter that loves dress up took it. Oh, I forgot to mention that this is the 2nd mascara that has disappeared in 2 weeks. So, I asked her about it and she denied it. Therefore, I went to her room and searched. WOW WOW WOW!!!! Guess what I found in there. I started in her closet. I went to the back of the closet and found half eaten brownies, half eaten suzy Q's, candy wrappers, and other food items. I was amazed. I then searched the drawers and found more food and wrappers. We have a very strict rule in our house. Food is only consumed in the kitchen. NO FOOD OR DRINK is allowed in other part of the house. PERIOD!!!! So, she knew she was BUSTED and in BIG TROUBLE. After the enitre family helped her clean her crumbs, food wrappers and food for an hour, I asked everyone to leave her room. I talked to her about being sneaky and dishonest. I then SPANKED her. Yes. I did. God's Word is very clear about not sparing the rod. And I do not spare the rod. Proverbs 23:13-14 says, "Do not withhold correction from a child, for if you beat him with a rod, he will not die. You shall beat him with a rod and deliver his soul from hell." After her spanking, she and I spent more time talking about how big God is. Even if you think that you are getting away with something, God sees you. Now, in our house, Mommy is never the end person with the discipline. Daddy then came in and talked with her. It is always good for both parents to be involved in discipline. This eliminates the inate desire to usurp and divide parents. This internal desire is as ancient as Adam and Eve and Cain and Abel. No matter what.....stay united in discipline. Here is a toughy....Even if you disagree with your spouse on the disciplinary action, never let the child know this. After the discipline is enacted, you can discuss your opposition in private. It is also very important that you make your child understand that they must answer to God. If they understand that God is watching their every move, they may begin to alter their behavior, if you have taught a proper reverence and fear of the Lord. Remain UNITED and ENCOURAGED!!!!!
Love,
Blessed Mom of Five
Sunday, July 12, 2009
My First Blog
Hello all,
I am excited to start this blog. My husband and I are raising 5 beautiful children and are having a blast. I wanted to start a blog to communicate that raising children according to God's standards is the most rewarding endevour that you can embark on. It is my hope that through this blog, others will see Christ in our experiences and be drawn closer to Him.
I am excited to start this blog. My husband and I are raising 5 beautiful children and are having a blast. I wanted to start a blog to communicate that raising children according to God's standards is the most rewarding endevour that you can embark on. It is my hope that through this blog, others will see Christ in our experiences and be drawn closer to Him.
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